


More Than Memories

by Thunder_Fox



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 01:41:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11613279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thunder_Fox/pseuds/Thunder_Fox
Summary: Smoke and iron wafted on the breeze, tasted heavy on his tongue and filled his throat, penetrating his senses as he shot upright. Fast. Too fast. Yet not fast enough. Those teeth had caught him, tearing through his flesh in search of... something. Or maybe nothing at all. Truths that had long since been lost to a history that never existed.Or maybe one that had simply been forgotten.





	More Than Memories

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first work I've posted online longer than some (admittedly some got longer than this) roleplay replies. This was more a ficlet to try and get myself back into the swing of writing. I miss rp, but can't find a steady partner, so I decided to tackle the need myself. I hope you enjoy, and maybe have some tips. I do have a longer, modern AU in the works I'm working on between other life... things.

Smoke and iron wafted on the breeze, tasted heavy on his tongue and filled his throat, penetrating his senses as he shot upright. Fast. Too fast. Yet not fast enough. Those teeth had caught him, tearing through his flesh in search of... something. Or maybe nothing at all. Truths that had long since been lost to a history that never existed.

Or maybe one that had simply been forgotten.

His chest heaved, lungs aching with every pull of breath, coming shorter, more hurried than the last, and tilting the earth off its axis. So dizzy. It felt so real.

"What the fuck..." Darkness enveloped him, disguising his damp skin, and masking his terror. His own voice echoed in his head, so similar, yet so different from his unconscious counterpart. Screams. Those had been agonizing screams as sinew, blood, and bone tore away from his body in mangled shreds.

His silver eyes tried to pierce the darkness. No signs of smoke, or colossal demons, yet he could still feel the sizzle of their blood as it evaporated into nothingness from his pale skin. Four crescents bled from his palms. His nails. He'd held the blades too tightly.

Why had he held the blades at all?

Beside him, the bed shifted, and he jumped. His skin felt clammy and raw, like he'd scrubbed it for hours trying to peel away grime that had never really been there. Like his skin held onto the same false memories as his mind. He reached up to push back his raven bangs, only to find that his cheeks were stained with tears he hadn't even remembered crying, mind swimming with an unsettling sense of loss that he couldn't quite comprehend.

"Levi?" The man's voice was groggy, thick with sleep, but somehow soothed the beast clawing at his chest. Not dead. Why the hell would he ever jump to that conclusion?

"Levi, what's the matter?"

He tried to answer. Tried to describe what he'd witnessed, but that felt false itself. Like it was someone else's memory clouding his vision, or a retelling of a story he wouldn't have the stomach to hear in the first place.

"It's nothing-" And though it was said with a disinterested detachment, the man beside him knew him so well. He'd only been in Levi's life a short six months, but he felt like he'd known him for centuries. Sometimes, he thought, when he caught Erwin's kind blue eyes staring at him, his partner must feel the same way. No one had ever looked at him with such determined devotion, it was almost terrifying in and of itself.

Levi didn't deserve such devotion.

And yet, when he was cradled in the man's arms, he felt nothing but safety and security. If he'd known, before the first three rejections, that he'd feel so strongly, maybe they would be permanently living together by now. But Levi was the constant stubborn to Erwin's unrelenting patience.

Like Erwin could read his thoughts, he lifted his own body from the sheets to switch on the bedside lamp. Levi had ducked his head to hide his tears, but when Erwin gently grasped his chin between caring fingers, there was no stopping the spell. No fighting the way he coaxed the rage and doubts from Levi's very soul, exposing the bruised core of him simply looking for genuine love and affection. Trust.

"Levi-" Erwin repeated, shifting his half bare body to take his boyfriend's face between his hands, brush away the trails of tears staining rosy cheeks. Still whole. When had Erwin never been whole? "Levi, love, what's happened? What's wrong?"

In his head were combating images of this Erwin, beautiful, kind, and compassionate; yet driven just as dream Erwin had been. Dream Erwin, who barked out orders, carrying every regret of every loss, even when Levi offered his own shoulders to share the burden. Dream Erwin, who had never seen the waters of the sea.

"I couldn't stop it. I wasn't there." And he'd made the wrong choice-

The words tumbled from his lips in a whispered breath, so faint, and so very broken. They exposed a sense of longing and dread that he didn't understand. That burned so fiercely, with each aching breath, he could see the truth.

And with each new breath, and tremble of his shoulders, he knew it was no dream. They were memories of a time even time had forgotten. He knew that, in the end, he had regrets. There could have been no outcome where he would have had no regrets.

Erwin moved, sure of himself. Always so sure of himself on the surface, even if he may be breaking inside.

And Levi knew. He's known for all the years they shared together lifetimes ago. Another tear rolled down his cheek unchecked, unnoticed by himself, but Erwin's face crumpled as he was pulled into his strong embrace. Their was comfort in those broad shoulders. Levi's face buried into his chest, nose settled to his collarbone to breathe in the calming scents of cologne, and soap, and everything Erwin. That scent never changed.

Slowly, the trembling ceased. Erwin's nose was buried in dark locks, and his arms had formed a barrier to hold the shattered pieces of his boyfriend together while memories assaulted his mind. They stayed like that for what felt like hours, time an enigma, ceasing to exist.

"I'm so sorry, Levi. I had hoped you may never remember. I had hoped you may be spared."

Erwin's voice cut through the silence, thick as fog, grounding Levi. Always grounding him.

"You're such an idiot. You're lucky I still love you."

Erwin hummed, like he knew just how lucky he was and stroked Levi's hair, his back, his shoulders. They kissed, lips softly seeking one another out. Erwin stole his breath away just like he always had, and Levi felt like, after something was missing for so very long, he was finally coming home.


End file.
